Full of stuff

With so much to talk about and not enough brain capacity to fill those thoughts with right-living, it helps to know that listening and filling myself with praise music can uplift my weak and weary spirit and body. I am pregnant and hormones are raging, but gratefully I have just recently made it onto the praise and worship team at my church, Redemption. Learning the new praise music is keeping my spirit encouraged and strengthened. I have gone through periods of dedication to spending time with my Lord, waking up early, enjoying nature, and breathing peace before I begin my day of, whatever is held, stress, incompetence, ignorance, and bliss. I'm not sure how to cope with life right now while being pregnant with this girl. I have never felt so incapable of handling my outburst of emotions. Sadness seems to overwhelm me with the drop of a hat, and  feelings of insecurity about losing close friends prior to becoming pregnant has been a real struggle for me, because of the circumstances; which I might get into at another point in time. Alternately, I am very grateful that the Lord has provided a mother and daddy for this girl. Her loving mother has given her the name Emma. I am so grateful for the family He has provided. They are perfect for her. Now I can only pray that I can be the perfect mother for my three year old son. He is a brilliant boy full of rambunctious energy, a me, pretty much, to the nth degree, (when I'm not pregnant, however); which is another reason why I've struggled with sadness over the past eight months, because I have not been able to give my energy fully to my precious son. Oh, how I have desired so much to be able to roll around on the floor laughing and tickling him silly. All the while he would be kicking, screaming, and laughing, as well. The problem has come in where I've had to be so careful about him not kicking my stomach when he wants to "play rough" or otherwise simply normal play for us. I've adversely had to get upset at him for it, although he has not understood why we can't play as before. But soon my love! My boy, oh how I miss playing with him, and am looking forward to the next few weeks when I can again. I will be able to erupt an explosion of  giggles and thrills perhaps even better than before! "Our God" by Israel Houghton is an extremely encouraging and uplifting song that I've enjoyed playing rather than being upset and overwhelmed by the estrogen hormones that have pulsed exclusively through my body. But praise will keep me awake!- The lyrics are, "Into the darkness you shine, out of the ashes we rise....Our God is greater, Our God is stronger." You should listen to it sometime, it will keep you encouraged! Love to all, from a David (worshipper, fail-er, child of God, yet lover of His heart) stay encouraged, if you're a worshipper, continue to do so, that's what we're made for. I'm creating this blog to get out the things I can't say, but write. Please uplift your Lord, that's what we're here for, that's the only thing that will ever matter. Love God first, then the rest will come.